Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Report: Leafs discussed 3-way deal at deadline to send Marner to Vegas - theScore.com

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Activision Quietly Force Adverts into Call of Duty Black Ops 6 and Warzone Loadouts and Players Absolutely Hate It: 'At This Point It Really Feels Like Opening Up a Mobile Game' - IGN

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Space pebbles and rocks play pivotal role in giant planet's formation - Phys.org

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Country music legend refunds all tickets mid-show, saying ‘I don’t give a damn’ - MassLive

I actually pay taxes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

America’s Small Businesses Hopeful of Boost From Trump’s Spending Bill - WSJ

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Sun unleashes monster solar storm: Rare G4 alert issued for earth - ScienceDaily

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Utah health officials monitoring potential measles exposure in southwestern Utah - KSL.com

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What are the causes of over sweating?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Is there a way to remove tar from my lungs?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

All international travelers should get measles vaccine, CDC says - OregonLive.com

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened